Desire Path Coaching

Desire Path Coaching

Understand yourself.
Find the way that fits.

Coaching for people who want to understand how they work, make sense of what gets in their way, and move toward what matters to them — without having to force themselves into someone else’s definition of how they “should” function.

Curiosity before correction.

The short version

Defeat “Clock Shock”

You know that moment when you look at the clock and think, “Where did the time go?” As an ADHD coach, I ask the questions we’re often too busy — or too afraid — to ask ourselves, so that we can uncover what’s blocking you and actually reclaim your time.

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Where we begin

You Are Here

Every coaching journey has to begin somewhere.

  • Maybe you know exactly what you want to change, but can’t seem to make yourself do it consistently.
  • Maybe you’re overwhelmed by too many possibilities and don’t know which direction to take.
  • Maybe you’ve spent years trying to become the person you think you’re supposed to be — and you’re beginning to wonder what would happen if you stopped fighting yourself.
  • Or maybe nothing is particularly “wrong.” You simply want to understand yourself better and make your life work more like your life.

You don’t have to arrive with a diagnosis, a five-year plan, or a perfectly articulated problem. Wherever you are is where we start.

The idea

What Is a Desire Path?

A desire path is the informal trail people wear into the ground when they walk where it actually makes sense for them to go, rather than following the route someone else designed. Sometimes the established path works. Sometimes it doesn’t. And the fact that people keep walking somewhere else is useful information about the landscape itself.

Many of us spend years trying to follow the paths we’re given — the “right” way to work, manage our time, communicate, choose a career, or define success. When those paths don’t work for us, it’s easy to assume that we are the problem. But what if the path simply wasn’t designed with you in mind?

Your patterns are information — not evidence that you’ve failed.

Together, we can get curious about what those patterns are telling you, understand the landscape you’re navigating, and find ways forward that actually fit.

Who this is for

Neurodivergence-Informed, Not Diagnosis-Dependent

Desire Path Coaching is especially informed by the lived experience of ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence — but you don’t need a diagnosis to belong here. You might be formally diagnosed, questioning, or strongly self-identified. Or you might consider yourself neurotypical and simply find that conventional approaches to motivation and productivity haven’t worked for you. The focus isn’t on fitting you into a category. It’s on understanding you.

The approach

Working With Yourself, Not Against Yourself

For many neurodivergent people, life becomes a long series of attempts to compensate for, suppress, or overcome the way their brains naturally work — often in a cycle of struggle, shame, overcompensation, and exhaustion. Instead of asking only “How can I make myself do this?” we can also ask, “What would make this easier for the person I actually am?”

That might mean changing the environment or adding external structure. It might mean accommodating your attention, energy, sensory needs, or executive functioning. It might mean changing the method, changing the goal, or deciding something isn’t actually important to you. And sometimes it means learning that a difficulty you’ve read as a personal failing has a perfectly understandable explanation.

Support isn’t cheating. Accommodation isn’t failure.

Curiosity Before Correction

Coaching doesn’t have to begin with “How do we fix this?” It can begin with “What’s actually happening here?”

  • What makes something easy — or nearly impossible?
  • What conditions help you focus, and what causes you to shut down, avoid, overcommit, or lose momentum?
  • Which expectations are genuinely yours, and which have you absorbed from other people?
  • What strengths have you developed because your brain works differently?
  • What are you actually trying to accomplish — and why?

Self-awareness isn’t the opposite of action. It’s what makes more intentional action possible.

Untangling

Sometimes the most valuable thing to come out of a session isn’t a giant action plan. It’s leaving with the thought, “Oh. Now I understand what’s going on.” When thoughts, emotions, expectations, and competing priorities get tangled together, everything can feel equally urgent. Coaching creates enough space to slow down and separate the strands — for example:

  • What you want from what you think you should want
  • A limitation from an assumption
  • Your own values from someone else’s expectations
  • What your brain is telling you from what shame is telling you
  • A problem that needs action from one that first needs understanding

The goal isn’t to eliminate complexity. It’s to make it easier to see — so you have more choice about which threads to follow.

Your Strengths Matter

Self-awareness shouldn’t become another way of cataloging everything that’s difficult about you. We’ll also look at what comes naturally to you, what pulls you in so deeply you lose track of time, and which strengths might be hidden inside the very traits you’ve learned to criticize. You are more than your difficulties.

There’s also an important difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in asks, “How can I change myself enough to be accepted here?” Belonging asks, “Where can I show up as myself and still have a place?” You don’t have to reject every convention — but you deserve the chance to decide which expectations actually belong to you.

Your Goals Are Your Goals

This isn’t a productivity program disguised as personal development. Your goal might be getting organized, changing careers, starting a creative project, making a difficult decision, building routines, or understanding yourself better. You bring the destination. My role is to help you understand where you are, explore what might be getting in the way, and experiment with approaches that fit your circumstances. Sometimes that means insight; sometimes accountability, brainstorming, practical strategies, or simply slowing down long enough to hear yourself think.

Over time

Building Your Own Field Guide

Coaching becomes more than a series of conversations. You begin building a personal field guide to yourself — not a rigid manual for how you’re supposed to behave, but a living collection of what you’ve learned about how you work:

  • The conditions in which you tend to thrive
  • What helps you start and sustain action
  • What drains your energy
  • Signs that you’re becoming overwhelmed
  • Strategies that reliably help
  • Strategies that look good on paper but don’t work for you
  • Supports that make a meaningful difference
  • Questions that help you get unstuck

The goal isn’t to know yourself perfectly. It’s to become increasingly familiar with your own terrain, so the next time you reach a fork in the trail, you have a better idea of how to navigate it.

In practice

What Coaching With Me Can Look Like

There isn’t one correct way to use coaching. Depending on what you need, our work might include:

  • Self-awarenessUnderstanding your patterns, motivations, needs, strengths, and environments.
  • UntanglingSorting through competing thoughts, expectations, and priorities.
  • Goal explorationFiguring out what you actually want.
  • ExperimentationTrying small, individualized changes and learning from what happens.
  • AccountabilityEnough structure and follow-through to help intentions become action.
  • Problem-solvingPractical strategies for specific challenges.
  • WayfindingMaking decisions when there isn’t one obviously correct answer.

The balance between insight and action can change from session to session. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is understand. Sometimes understanding has done its job, and it’s time to move.

Details like format, scheduling, and rates are easy to talk through in a first conversation — just get in touch.

You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out

You don’t need to know exactly what you want from coaching, whether your challenges are “really” ADHD, or which strategies will work. And you certainly don’t need to become a different person before you can start building a life that works. We’ll start where you are. Then we’ll get curious, untangle, experiment, and learn — and over time, you’ll be better equipped to choose your own way forward.

Curiosity before correction.
Understanding before judgment.
Your strengths alongside your struggles.
Your goals, your way.

You Are Here. Let’s start there.

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Coaching is not therapy, counseling, or medical treatment, and it is not a substitute for care from a licensed professional.